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    • Oh! waking is a bitter nightmare..when you constantly hang around the fringes of my dreams..

    ..my foundation is crumbling and shattered glass is falling all over sidewalks..

    ..i am collapsing and i am collapsing on myself.. i am shards of glass..and i am the person being wounded by the glass..

    ..there is a certain beautiful honesty about depression..

    ..will Candy and honey not ..sweeten the Bitter acrimony of life? ..if truth indeed be a fallacy, then should reality not be a lie?

    Truth is like water. A little of it quenches your thirst Too much of it..and you drown.

    Sunday, October 30, 2005

    Ok since im so bloody bored..(which is not a good thing coz ive got 3 friggin essays to do..and they r all due on tues) ill blog down more extracts from my special MISS SINGAPORE UNIVERSE TEN YEARS SERIES!!! (very fictional..but soon to come into existence)

    Warning: Can induce Nausea, and Internal Haemorrhaging. Read on at ur own risk.

    The MUST-DO for Miss Singapore Wannabes

    1) Giggle. (special type of giggle) There is NO beauty pagent contestent that dosent know the fine art of giggling..

    2) Bitch viciously about ALL the other contestents behind their backs, but pretend to be BEST PALS with them on screen..doing the whole hugging cum air-kissing thing (practice in front of mirror first,so u noe u'll look good on camera)..yes, and of course singing sweet praises about them on mags like 8 days when interviewed (ie: Ooo..april is so sweet!! i hope she wins. *stab* *stab* *stab** DIEEEE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**)

    3) Learn to smile without getting cheek cramps (or Spasms..coz it wld look PRETTY gory on camera) and without letting ur makeup crack.

    4) Learn to look like you REALLY REALLY love your fellow contestants, when all you really wanna do is smother them behind a thick pillow, or pierce your blood-red nails into their backs

    5) Go for liposuction. Alternatively, the one-grape-a-day-diet. You don't want people saying you've got "thunder thighs" on national TV.

    6) Stock up on eyedrops. Because when you r delivering that touching rendtion of "world peace"..and helping starving children etc etc..blahBlah blah..you will wanna look REALLY convincing.

    7) Stock up on even more eyedrops. So you can dab your eyes, (and look convincing) when your fellow contestant wins, give the joan-of-arc type of smile..the "oh..she won but im oh so noble and im so touched that im gonaa cry" type of smile. ( well, excuse me while the rest of us barf somewhere first)

    8) Practice pouting you mabelline water-shine diamond lips nicely in front of the mirror, so you dont risk looking like a suckerfish on National Tv.


    ..I'll be back with more. For people who have weak stomachs...DON"T READ. You've been warned

    dawn fairy on the moon at 10/30/2005

    I jus got off the phone with Geraldine.

    Doing what i do the best of course. Gossiping..and bitching about guys. Hurhur... :)

    Speaking of which, recently we have been condeming many guys, one of which Mr W...who happens to be really desperate and crappy.

    He puts really strange and pseudo-arty-farty pics on his Msn, and tries to look really hip, but ends up looking some what like the Grim Reaper. Or maybe an escaped psycho from the asylum at best. There was this particular shot, which we found particularly, hmm..intriguing.. Fine, i shan't lie. Particularly AWFUL. This super close up of his face, where his every pore was quite visible..and his shiny, nose was..well..very prominent. Either he was trying to do an imitation (very poor one i must say) of a facial advertisement, or hoping desperately to get noticed and to get endorsements from Eversoft, or Johnson and Johnsons. Either way, It made him look really bad. And he looks better in pics then in real life. ok, i mean its totally mean of me to keep condeming him, but his attitude totally sucks. And he's quite annoying. He irritates the crap out of me..in a way i can't quite explain. And NO, i am not in love, thank you very much. And his msn nicks are hilarious. I get my cheap thrills, jus from reading them, and sniggering about it later on. Ok, yes, yes, im bloody sad and i need to get a life.

    Gosh. I just feel i got a really lousy deal man. Haha..i matchmake my fren with something good..and i end up with ..this---..arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I am a fantastic matchmaker. But ive got the worst luck with my own "matches".

    dawn fairy on the moon at 10/30/2005
    Saturday, October 29, 2005

    I have come to a simple conclusion.


    I am a M.E.A.N gal.
    I am no longer, the very image of innocence, lightness, and the ingenue...but i've become somewhat cynical,cold..and yes. Mean. Hypocrital if u like. I used to believe that the best thing about me, was that i was always so real, and so sincere. I spoke my mind. I didnt bother pretending to be nice to people i didnt like. I showed people how i truly felt abt a situation..or them.. But now, somehow its different. Something has changed. Slowly, but surely, i feel like im slowly putting on a mask..layer by layer. And i smile so hard, and so fake, surely my face feels like its about be break. Like porcelain. And i can no longer fault people for being hypocritical. For being unreal. Because maybe i'm really becoming like that.

    Maybe.

    Then again, maybe not. I struggle so hard, to banish away these evil thoughts and feelings. I struggle so hard, no to smile like a fake porcelain doll. And maybe i rationalize.Yes.I do. I mean like if everyone is doing it..if everyone CAN do it, then why can't i.. Why should i be different..why should i play good..if everyone is bad

    and its bad. Because i struggle. I have to struggle.
    But at least i have decided that i can no longer deny. Or pretend to be something better. Maybe i used to think i was superior because i wasn't a hypocrite like others. But now..maybe i'm wondering, just maybe. I am not so different after all.

    Or am I.

    dawn fairy on the moon at 10/29/2005
    Sunday, October 23, 2005

    Remember me always


    Summer days slain by Autumn rain,
    A deluge of memories, burst forth in sleets.

    Faintly ebbing away,
    echoes of the dying wind.

    Pale streaks of sunset,
    Fade into grey
    Dark velvet hand of night
    Surely usurps the Softest Light.

    Fades away,
    Evaporates away,
    Vanishes like a mysterious mist.

    Time seeps into cracks
    leaking slowly into space

    Wind rushes through an empty house

    None but echoes back.

    A fire extinguishes,
    and ashes disintegrate.

    Waves beat hard against the wall
    Beaten, worn, and broken,
    Nature engulfs us all.


    Even if, Even if, Even if,


    Time forgets us all.
    But please,
    only you.

    Please.

    Remember me always.

    dawn fairy on the moon at 10/23/2005